Monday, January 17, 2011

New Goals

I have been away from my blog for nine months, I was going through a lot of inward struggle, and I was having a hard time figuring out where I was at in regard to all of this weight-loss stuff. I was beginning to question my entire approach to weight-loss, but more importantly, my relationship to my own body. I felt that my constant scrutiny of everything I ate, my weight, my size, were all ways of punishing myself, and that my “problem” with my body was more about a problem feeling comfortable with myself. If I could find true self-love, I knew, my weight would automatically balance itself.
But, in embracing that attitude, I seemed to ‘throw the baby out with the bath water’, in that, I rejected everything I was doing. The problem was, not everything was punitive. Finding support from other bloggers for instance, is a very positive way to help keep us honest and on-track. I know I have missed that support, and I would like to add it back into my life.
As for my weight, it’s virtually unchanged, I have avoided the scale, because I used it to beat myself up, and it made me crazy, but my clothes all fit pretty much the same. I suppose I should count that as progress (as long as it’s not negative progress, it’s progress, huh?) but the fact is I want to lose weight, have for a couple of years, but make zero progress.
I am convinced that it’s emotional that keeps the weight on, my diet is very good, I eat very healthy and get regular exercise, I just can’t seem to budge. So, for now, I feel like I’ve got to give up trying. Because all that trying-and-failing is doing, is making me feel bad about myself, and that certainly is no way to reach my goal.
So, my new year’s resolution was not lose x number of pounds, as it always is, but rather, “be healthy”, “get exercise”, “have fun”, and most importantly, “feel comfortable in my own skin”. That, for now, is a big enough goal!


  1. I'm so glad you came back. Just today I was telling someone how sad it made me when bloggers disappear. I worry about them.

    I undertand the emotional side of this weight loss thing, now more than ever. I've read a ton of books on the subject, and now I'm reading another one. I like this one better than some of past books I've read. It's the Bob Greene book (Oprah's former personal trainer), "The Life You Want". So far, I'm impressed. Of course, like all things worth having, it takes a lot of work to figure out why we gained the weight. I really believe that's the key.

    I look forward to more posts from you!

  2. Thank you so much for the warm welcome Diana, it feels good to be back!